Sunday, December 11, 2016

One Tough Crowd!

Arrived: 7:40 AM
#SecureThePorch - Failed

One by one the Breakfast Club members started to arrive at Bobby's around 7:45 AM. First Rick, then Mike B., followed by Tom and Mike H. The other handful of members typically arrive around 8:30 AM. For the most part, this is the order of arrival that plays out every Saturday at the Corner Cafe & Grill. Only this time, it was a little different. Falling behind in my Saturday morning ritual by 10 minutes, I pulled into the parking lot at 7:40 AM. I appeared to be the second car in the parking lot and immediately breathed a sigh of relief thinking that the porch was all mine. After being greeted by Eric, Bobby and staff, I placed my order and walked to the back porch only to find one of my tables occupied. Yes, my tables! Now I am going to hear it from the BK boys...one tough crowd.

"Ed, what happened", followed by a long face.

"Isn't securing the table your job"?

Long face followed by "this isn't the first time Ed, come on now".

"We may have to get someone else to secure the table".

But the best was "Ed, you have a job to do and my job is to make sure you do your job. So, if you can't fulfill your job, we may have to have a different discussion. It's nothing personal but you might not be fit for this job".

These guys aren't fooling me though. Nobody is willing to arrive at Bobby's as early as I do. My job as Head of Security for the Breakfast Club is as secure as a Supreme Court Justice.

Eventually, the porch was all ours and we were able to align all the tables and chairs to our liking.

This happens about twice per year. Does anybody remember the other 40 or so times that the back porch is secure for the BK Club? No, it doesn't work like that. I now know how Bill Buckner of the Boston Red Sox feels. He accumulated over 2700 hits over a 22 year career, won a batting title in 1980 and played in the All Star game. But he is best remembered for his infamous error he committed in the 1986 World Series against the NY Mets. An error that is heavily entrenched in American baseball lore. For you non-baseball fans, maybe I could make the comparison to Pee Wee Herman. A great comic with an illustrious career.  He makes one mistake...wait...never mind...maybe Pee Wee Herman isn't the best example. But you get my point. Do countless things right and one thing wrong and what do people remember? The one thing you did wrong.

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A couple of the boys brought Christmas gifts to distribute today. Jim gave out calendars with a picture for each month featuring one or more of the BK members. I am sure this will be prominently featured on many desks this year.

Cindy, my lovely wife, called Bobby and picked up the tab for today's Breakfast Club tab. I am taking credit for that also.

Perry gave out very nice towels that are monogrammed with BK and recipients initials. My towel also has a monogrammed fish and a hook. I can't tell you how excited I am to use this on my next fishing trip. This towel also has a very convenient hook to affix to my belt while fishing. Call me crazy or even simple-minded, but I get so excited about anything to do with fishing. This could be the best gift I receive all year. You should see how I get when someone gives me a bag of plastic worms for Christmas. A child who still believes in Santa Clause has nothing on me in terms of excitement anf joy.

Mike H gave me a beer Koosie with an inscription of "I love Fishing(and vacuuming, and securing the porch, Ed Bauer - Head of BK Security, BK Blogger). Mike - I love it!!!

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There was a bit of chatter on how the BK Club Fantasy Football league is being run. I heard one complaint after another about the current commissioner. I kind of felt bad for the commissioner because I know how it feels to be unjustly attacked by your 'friends'. Allegedly, he has collected a lot of money, different members paying different entrance fees and the rules are somewhat fluid ...which is a polite way of saying the commissioner can be bought off. He doesn't make things any better for himself when he raises his wallet above his head and proclaims "cha-ching" every time somebody asks him to clarify a rule. The whole mood around the BK Fantasy League is very contentious. It is not a healthy situation. In the past, there never were any accusations of corruption. But, if I'm not mistaken, things changed around the same time Donald Trump won the election. The commissioner keeps saying "we're going to make the BK Club great again". Nobody knows what that means and is afraid to ask in fear of the commissioner tacking on another fantasy football fee. One person actually shouted out "now that Castro is dead there's only one dictator left". This whole fantasy football is really getting out of control. I am glad I am not involved.

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Lottery Update: Over the past year, the Breakfast Club has purchased $770 of lottery tickets with winnings of $51.  Each month we hand over $20 to the Breakfast Club Treasurer and he takes a portion of that money and purchases lottery tickets. The remaining money is kept in our kiddy for various expenditures and charitable donations. Many of the members are starting to wonder aloud "maybe we shouldn't be purchasing so many lottery tickets". The one person who seems most adamant about continuing with the current 'investment strategy' is the Breakfast Club Treasurer. He insists, "you have to be in it to win it" or "you only have to win the big one once". Oh - did I fail to mention, the Breakfast Club Treasurer is also the commissioner of the Breakfast Club Fantasy Football league.















7 comments:

  1. Ed
    Perhaps your best effort yet. In the spirit of the free press it is your duty to expose those who would put the yoke around our neck bind us with the chains of inequality and elitism.

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  2. 2 of my sister-in-laws recently told me how cool they think it is that I have this group of men that I can meet with on a regular basis to enjoy breakfast and friendly conversation. Made me think they really don't know how lucky I truly am. I have 8 friends, all good men that love thier wives (at least the current one) would do anything for thier kids and generally do anything for each other. I am blessed to havie a great family and doubly blessed to be friends with these gentlemen.

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  3. Thank you Jim. We must stay united in our efforts for justice. This reminds me of the battle cry of out forefathers, "no taxation without representation". All we are asking for is to be heard, to have a seat at the table. Justice never comes without a fight and fight we will.

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  4. Now I'm a gentlemen. On Saturday I was a dictator!

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  5. Saturday is a day for hyperbole. Sunday is a day to open our hearts.

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  6. And Monday is a day to raise your dues.

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