#SecureThePorch – Mission Accomplished

(Submitted by the Breakfast Club Treasury Secretary)

Last week I failed miserably at #SecureThe Porch. I wasn’t going to let it happen this week. After several sleepless nights I came up with my game plan. Have you heard of WWJD? I would follow WDED. What Does Eddie Do?  I tried to think of and imitate his Saturday morning routine. I got up early. I made my wife breakfast and served her in bed. I vacuumed the house. I walked the dog, and I don’t even have a dog. I drove to the store and bought the morning paper. I backed into the parking spot at the Deli. Took me three tries but it was close enough. I was all pumped up. Then who drove up but the IT guy. The guy who gave himself the nickname BB, Belgium Balls. Together we stormed the porch. Took no prisoners, (because no one was back there).  Mission Accomplished.

As I sat down with the IT guy in came the old ball coach. This week he was wearing a sweatshirt so it was difficult to see if he had his name on the back of his shirt. He claims no but sometimes old guys forget. Next came the soon to be one of the old guys. The December I’m turning 60 guy. Sometimes called Jesus because they share the same birthday. The rest of the members arrived shortly after, the Logistics guy, the Big Dawg and the CEO. And of course, our special guest arrived last. So he had the privilege to sit next to the Big Dawg.

Sports was briefly discussed. But with our college football expert still on his sabbatical it left us with only the local teams and since the Yankee season is over, Jets and Giants are not playing well and RU struggling there wasn’t much to discuss. Even Don Bosco lost. It might be time to call it a rebuilding year.

We talked some politics. Some members think the election might be over already. You can see the Logistics guy eyes just light up with joy, or something else, when we talk about the next four years.

We talked about the soon to be old guys birthday party in December. There is still a question if all the members are invited. It seems one member was left off the spreadsheet created to find an available date. Most of us thought it was a wonderful spreadsheet even before the IT guy enhanced it. We did find out the Big Dawgs phone seems to send out texts on its own. This does explain a lot about his texts. He even tried to blame the phone on the missing member from the spreadsheet.

We talked about the weekends windy weather. Since we were playing golf the next day a sarcastic remark was made about my tee shots finally going over 150 yards. The golf bully denied using the word “finally” and tried to spin it as a compliment. But the old ball coach claims he heard it and I believe him. Even if he is the same guy that I wrote earlier can’t remember. Now after playing golf I can truthfully say the golf bully was wrong. I still didn’t hit it over 150 yards.

At one time during our breakfast, Franklins Finest secured the last table on the porch. It was a tense moment as they looked for another table. The old ball coach thinks they were looking to start trouble. That their hands were hanging loosely at their sides. But who believes anything the old ball coach says anyway. Fortunately the towns prosecutor arrived and came to our table. Even though he talked about SMS coaching we all knew he was trying to negotiate a table.  We held firm and he left empty handed.

And finally I must add another special visitor came and had breakfast with us, Patrick. It’s always great to see him. He must be thinking, is this what I have to look forward to. Whereas I say the future is in good hands with young men like Patrick.

Hopefully the BLOG Master is back next week.

Not So Easy to #SecureThe Porch

(Submitted by the Breakfast Club Treasury Secretary)

This past Saturday I was given a very large responsibility from the BLOG Master. Due to his absence, I was asked to #SecureThePorch and document the conversations of the BK members and guest. I must admit I kind of failed. 

I reached the Deli at 8:10 AM. An impossible time for someone to #SecureThe Porch. I was surprised to see no other member had arrived yet. And a family of three were sitting at one of our tables. Because of my arthritic knees I didn’t think I had a chance to forcibly take the table from them. Maybe if there were two, but not three. And I sensed that the 10 and 12 year old girls were tougher than they looked.

After a few minutes our weekly guest arrived. This brought me some hope we could take the table. Unfortunately our guest is recovering from hip surgery and was not up for a fight. Next came our IT member who was an ex wrestler, ex volunteer firefighter, ex soccer coach. All manly positions. But being a god fearing person I found out he is a lover and not a fighter. Next came our CEO member. I think either because of the negative vibes I was sending or the concern of being out numbered, the three invaders got up and left. 

But now since there was only four of us we didn’t even need the other table. But I still consider it a victory.

With only four people not much was discussed. But it was a lot quieter and everyone did get to contribute to the conversation. I don’t think I heard the F word once. We didn’t even need to do any fact checking. We were given a brief history of Guantanamo Bay. A summary of the Verizon IPhone 7 plan. A few book reviews from our IT Literary member. We talked about our weekly football picks and how our CEO member didn’t get any love when he picked 10 right. Unlike the BK Treasurer who received a lot of hate when he only picked five winners in week three. This is especially discouraging because everyone knows week three in the NFL is the toughest. Our IT member couldn’t understand why we haven’t won. He came close to guaranteeing a win next week when it is his turn. This coming from a guy who wanted to know what a spread is and how does he vote on the winning teams.

Our current member coach did stop by to pay a debt he owed. He had a baseball uniform with his name on the back. I don’t want to name him but what 63 year old guy wears a uniform with his name on the back! I wonder if the BLOG Master has his name on the back of his hiker’s shirt. Or fishing shirt?

Hopefully next week things get back to normal. Those of you who missed might want to stay away from Bobby for a while.

He was very disappointed with the showing. He wanted to know what happened to the weekly text. I might have incorrectly gave him the impression that the text went out and it said to meet at Kettleman's.

See you Saturday. At the Deli not Kettleman's.

(Submitted by the Breakfast Club Treasury Secretary)

Clown Lives Matter

For the most part, I don't have to worry about the back porch of the Corner Cafe and Grill being occupied at 7:30 AM on a Saturday morning. On occasion, a table or two are taken by members of the local police force but there seems to be an unspoken agreement between the BK club and Franklin's Finest. We always leave two tables for the policeman unless we know they are done or not showing up and they do the same for us.

This Saturday, I was met with a situation I wasn't prepared for. Sitting at our usual table was someone dressed as a clown. Not knowing if it was a joke or not, I proceeded to push an empty table along side the clown's table so the whole BK club could sit together. After settling into a chair next to the clown, I opened up my paper and began sipping my coffee. Not a word was spoken but I could feel a certain calmness fall over the both of us. We were happy sharing a quiet and peaceful moment together. After ten minutes or so and before anyone else had showed up, the clown got up from his chair and walked towards the door. Just before leaving the room, he turned back towards me and gave a tip of the hat, as if to say "it was nice spending some time with you".


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#ClownLivesMatter

Coulrophobia (kool-ruh-foh-bee-uh)
1. an abnormal fear of clowns.

What is going on with these clown sightings?  All across America, there are reports of clowns engaging in criminal activities. There have been reports over social media of violent threats in Philadelphia, a report of an attack on a woman by a knife wielding clown in Cincinnati, a report of a clown trying to lure children into a wooded area in South Carolina, and on and on. Schools are sending out emails to parents letting them know the security measures that are in place should a clown attack occur. Even the White House Press Secretary Josh Earnest has made a reference to clown sightings during his press briefing. Have we all collectively gone mad? Is it possible all or most of these reports are a hoax? Please note, the majority of recent accusations against clowns are unsubstantiated and completely without merit.

The clowns of my youth were far from perfect. Yes, a few of them drank too much but that was part of their charm. They were sad, lovable creatures. The floppy shoes, the makeup, the wigs; these were all tools of the craft of making people laugh. You wouldn't call their humor sharp or witty. It's more clumsy, lacking in grace, and calamitous. It's not the highest form of art and it does seem a bit outdated but it certainly is a bit premature for retirement.

How did clowns transform from sad and pathetic comics to slashers, molesters, and perverts? Has the roster of America villains run so dry we have to turn to clowns? Do we really want the year 2016 entered into  the pantheon of great American hoaxes alongside the Salem witch trials of 1692? As a side note, I do believe this presidential election cycle will go down as one of the great American hoaxes. We have enough villains today. It's time to extend an olive branch to clowns.

If you see a clown, reach out to him. He is probably hurting right now. Offer your hand in friendship, a smile, something to show you care. Sure clowns look funny, dress like a hobo and smell like a day-old sardine sandwich. But guess what? Clowns are human beings, they deserve our respect, and clown lives matter.

#ClownLivesMatter, #ClownsArePeopleToo, #GiveAClownASardineSandwich

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Lots of talk today about the recent discoveries of off- the-record comments made by The Donald and Hillary. Is this suppose to be a 'gotcha' moment? How clueless can the media be? This doesn't even register with the hard core base of these two candidates and the independents still don't have a clear choice.

It was great seeing Rob, Al D's brother in-law. You have to drop by more often. You provide some badly needed balance to Al. He always gets us bogged down with silly facts. Very Frustrating!

We also had a guest appearance by my wife Cindy, our granddaughter Brooklyn, and my son Mark. Brooklyn can make a mush out of any conservative like myself.

Mike H. Thanks for you input.

James B. - Happy Birthday! I owe you a Vermont craft beer. With a little luck, a shipment of Heady Topper, Sip of Sunshine et al. will be arriving soon.

Count down to Hamilton: 4 days. I am taking my kids on Wed, Oct 12. Cannot wait!!!

"Give all the power to the many,  they will oppose the few. Give all the power to the few, they will oppose the many"
-- Alexander Hamilton

What is Scrapple?

A chilly and moist morning greeted me today as I headed out to join my BK brothers at Bobby's for breakfast. At 7:30 AM, the area was clear, the tables were in place and I was able to #SecureThePorch. We are in the first week of October, the leaves are changing and Rutgers is facing Ohio State today on the gridiron. But not even the Buckeyes could dampen the mood at the BK club. We had close to a full house today with only Rick absent due to his road trip to Ohio to attend the Rutgers game. We had the usual chatter of sports, family and work with only a smattering of talk about the debate between Hillary & Trump. This political season will not go down as America's finest moment. I thought brother Hank captured the climate perfectly when after being asked "Are you watching the debate?", he responded, "I can't watch the debate, I have to clean the litter box."

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We are all Rutgers football fans in the BK club to varying degrees but certainly Rick B. sets himself apart. He knows the Rutgers fight song, RU Rah Rah, and has their schedule memorized a year in advance. Rutgers Football trivia questions are answered with the same ease and confidence of a Jeopardy game show champion.

"College football history for $500 Alex."

"Who played in the 1st College Football game?"

"Rutgers defeated Princeton by a score of 6-4 on Nov 6, 1869. Who is Rutgers and Princeton."

He hasn’t missed a home game in years and is a host to the best tailgate in Piscataway. We don’t always have a great deal to cheer about but that has never dampened the mood at the tailgate. As Rick likes to say, “We may not have a winning record on the field but we’re undefeated at the tailgate.” However, not all food items at the tailgate are touchdowns.

One food item worth mentioning from last week’s tailgate is Scrapple. What is scrapple you may ask? Here is a conversation that was overheard at the grill.

“What is that on the grill?”

“There are a lot of things on the grill. We have hamburgers, hot dogs, sausages, ribs, grilled vegetables. What can I get you?”

“There is something on the grill that I have never seen before.  It’s gray. What is it?”

“Huh!’       

                                                 

“What is the gray matter on the grill? It looks like something Cousin Eddie from National Lampoons Christmas Vacation was pouring(emptying the shitter – as Cousin Eddie says) out of his RV into the storm drain outside the Griswold’s house.”

“Oh! That’s Scrapple. Don’t tell me you have never had Scrapple before."

“What is Scrapple?”

“Scrapple is pork based and is very popular in Eastern Pennsylvania.”

“Pork! I love pork. Serve me up some.”

A quick search will reveal that Pork is used in the making of many foods and non-food based products. For instance, pork is used in the production of pork ribs, pork butt, pork chops, pork loin, sausages, chemical weapons testing, ice cream, fertilizer, paint brushes, shampoo, tambourines, soup, corks, et all.

Scrapple is made of hog offal, such as the head, heart, liver, and other trimmings, which are boiled with any bones attached (often the entire head) to make a broth.   Once cooked, bones and fat are removed, the meat is reserved, and dry cornmeal is boiled in the broth to make a mush.  Scrapple is typically pan fried or grilled and served hot with or without maple syrup.

So, if I have this right, after all the meat is cut up, and all the elements used in the making of said food and non-food products like paint brushes and tambourines are extracted, whatever is left over is boiled down and molded into a loaf called Scrapple.

“That Scrapple was pretty good. If there is any left, I'll have another slice.”

The BK/Rutgers tailgate remains undefeated!

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Rutgers went down in a hard fought battle to TOSO(THE Ohio State University) by a score of  58-0. 

Rick, you will not bring a victory home this week but I am sure you represented Jersey well. 

Jersey Strong!!! Just not this week. 

Happy Birthday Katie!

Happy Anniversary to Pat & Jim, and Beverly and Al.